Here it is folks - Here are the top 10. most awesome action figures (no they aren't dolls! they are highly collectible pieces of pop art!!!...in doll form...) that I've seen in a minute.
8. Old School Porn Star Action Figures - Porn Stars from that golden period of big hair, big bling, hooker make up, 80's electronic sound tracks, and less than perfect boob jobs!
7. the Beat your Meat Special Edition Super Rare Bizarrrooo Action Figure Award goes toooo ...THE MEAT - From Rocky! - Yes they have immortalized the side of beef Balboa tenderized his fists on while training!! Keep beef in blister pack for maximum freshness and to maintain mint condition resale rating!
6. Wow -it just got weirder - The Avenging Narwhal Action Figure Play-set - comes with a skewered seal, a punctured penguin and just to make it even stranger............................. a koala. ok then...
5. The perfect girl for the Ted Nugent in you is.... Hunter Ann! and she can take care of that pesky Narwhal. Her bio reads "...as stylish as she is deadly..." oh yeah!
4. The Pete Doherty Doll - OK this is one of those urban legend kind of things - people swear it exists and their are stories about a Pete Doherty Do...um Action Figure that comes complete with an guitar, a cig and a rig but no one seems to have EVER seen the actual thing itself - if you all have a jpg please send my way!
3. The Notorious D.O.L.L. - If I were Biggie I'd be thinking - I know you wouldn't make me look that ugly if I was alive you sons of bitches!
2. Even at 12" "tall" - the Anatomically Correct Jeff Stryker figure will make you feel like less of a man! He actually has "...realistic lifelike skin..." yikes.
1. And TIME's Action Figure of the Year is .......YOU! That is correct daddio - you to can have your likeness molded into semi articulated plastic toys. Just what the maladjusted egomaniac in me needed -" Honey!? Can I use the AmEx for a minute? -no it's not for porn - this is even more pathetic......."
A(I once had a life - I swear - I did)Men