OK I was over it - I was over the whole "blogging" thing but ya-know the Rev. My man just can't keep his mouth shut (or his blog idle). So since we are at the dawn of a new year and we don't quite know if it will be as totally suck-ass as 2011, let's find a few trends we don't need to perpetuate so that maybe we'll have a better time of it next year.
1. Bitching about our "privacy" - The people bitching about their "privacy" are always the ones that have a gazillion freaking connections to the web and the mobile sphere and have clicked yes to more Terms and Conditions than they can remember. They are the kind of people that have a password folder on their desktop. They have Google, Hotmail, Yahoo and Earthlink accounts. They post every five minutes on twitter, foursquare, G+, facebook, typapad, flickr, tumblr, Linkedin, get all their music off "the cloud" which they share through their linked Spotify account, and post throughout the day what they ate, what color socks they have on, who they're dating, how healthy they're last BM was and where they bought their tampons. Who needs Big Brother when we've entered the era of uber-sharing.
2. Fees - Really Verizon? You didn't learn from the freaking banks and Netflix. Let's talk bout grade school level economics. When the economy is in the shitter then chances are people WON'T BE HAPPY ABOUT PAYING MORE ya dang idjits! We don't give a shit how good your damn customer service is when we don't have freaking jobs.
3. Startups - Another example of history repeating? Was the tech bubble really that far back? Was it? See if no one has noticed there is this huge cottage industry of "developers" creating "apps" and "enterprise level software" that "maximizes the social marketing presence of your brand." Let me explain - basically there's a fuckload of yahoos making crap that services and exploits social media. This industry is servicing the social marketing needs of everyone from the big boy advertisers (who are clueless to social media metrics) down to the mom and pop advertisers (who are clueless to social media metrics). If you ever read CrunchBase (back before they got bought and didn't suck) this year you'd see that every day millions are paid in angel capitol to companies who's mission statements are so convoluted you couldn't tell what the hell it was that they did. Of course until you went on their site and then realize they help you get "Liked" on Facebook. People - when there are no hard assets in an industry except "intellectual property" and there are so many fish in the pond - it's only natural a shit load of them starve and they leave nothing behind in the economy - nothing to sell off so that money invested in these companies basically goes pfft. Gone. Into the the ether, never to recirculate again into the economy. But hopefully, if it does happen, we'll first see another big Clinton-era-esque upswing in the market first after all these coke addled entrepreneurs go public. Then once again we can get those $75,000 a year jobs licking nouveau riche corporate bunghole right out of college!
The Startup: A Less Productive Alternative to Unemployment -- powered by Cracked.com
4. Cupcake, Meatball, Beer, Sea Salt - Basically specialty craft stores. Enough already! By my office they closed the store where I bought my..
- Power Bars
- Lotto Tickets
- Cheapo Emergency Umbrellas
You know what they opened? A store that sells nothing but ARTISINAL KOREAN RED GINSENG! Because that's what we need. It's freaking ridiculous already. It's going to get to the place where we're opening specialty Latvian Shark Urine Infused Truffle Oil emporiums! Specializing is one thing but how can local commerce subsist on nothing but flavor of the month specialty boutiques?
5. OWS vs. The Tea Party - please just hug it out and make nice - you're basically all pissed about the same things on the top level. If ya'll just got together on the economy and fair taxation you can go back to arguing about whatever misinformed, deluded, one-sided, web-fueled conspiracy theories you all have after we all have jobs and our houses stop being foreclosed on. It's much easier to research FEMA Death Camps and Global Warming when your electricity doesn't' get shut off.
Part II Pending but till then what would you all like to see less of this year?