The Rev. and the lovely Miss Judes are watching the "Live Earth" thing today and it just doesn't add up to me.
1. We are watching performances by people that get driven everywhere in limos and who each own multiple SUVs and private jets. I want fucking Kanye West and freaking Madonna to take the same stupid test I took on the Live Earth Website to see how deep THEIR carbon-footprints are and tell us exactly how much their lifestyles cost the planet!
2. The amount of materials, electricity and fuel used to create a concert that was held and broadcast all around the world must have been astronomical.
3. How did all the attendees get to the shows? Are you going to tell me they bicycled, walked and Roller-bladed to the Meadowlands or to Wembly?
3. How many plastic, paper and aluminum products did those attendees consume that day while drinking beer and eating chili dogs?
4. They keep asking us to pledge on their web site. Pledge to what? Is there some eco-faeries that we need to subsidize so they can keep the planet clean? Please explain this to me! Oh wait here it is...pledge to buy the Global Warming Survival Guide. Riddle me this - if we are in so much trouble, shouldn't it be free on-line so we can save paper?
I'm not being an Eco-Grinch and I'm not alone in this opinion. Several high profile musicians agree! To quote Roger Daltry "...the last thing the planet needs is a rock concert..." And isn't it so convenient this is all coming together the year before elections? Is there's something your not telling us Mr. Gore?
Here's the gospel folks. The truth is we are on a finitely sustainable planet. We may be able to put off the inevitable for a few generations - 10, 100, 1000 whatever - that is unless we find new ways to make light-bulbs light, blenders blend and automobiles motor. You can talk about conservation all you want but if you have one 8 oz. glass of water to last you through a walk through the Sahara desert, I don't care how small the sips you take are - you're still pretty fucking screwed.
OK I am NOT a Britney Spears fan. Of all those skanks Christina Aguilara is the only one I don't despise, but the crap the NY POST and other sleazy tabloids are printing about her is what is keeping little girls in the bathroom, puking up their meals in abject horror of gaining a 1/4 inch on the waist line. The picture here is Britney with a few pounds on. She is by no means fat in the real world the rest of us live in. Come to think of it, she's pushed out two rug rats, just got divorced and her label might be dropping her. It's a wonder she hasn't fallen face first into a vat of bon-bons, whiskey and Kleenex! And they get these fucking "expert" psychologists to say things like "...it's troubling how much the mother of two has let herself go." Listen up douche, when we - that being the normal, non-scrutinized public - have break-ups, lose jobs or experience the pressures of parenthood, we sometimes have a few extra drinks. We eat more. We smoke more if smokers we be. We have crutches because we are imperfect. It's this kind of reporting that has created a music industry full of no-talent, mass produced twinks and pop-tarts that need to look pretty (pretty being THIN!) before they sound good. Holy shit even what they are trying to pass off as punk rock looks like some producers version of a punk band he put together for an After School Special! Arrrrgh -
OK New commandments on the ol' Rev's tablets-
Thou shalt not read PAGE 6 - No matter HOW BORED YOU ARE.
Thou shalt eat a burger if you have the ass of an 11 year old Ethiopian girl and you are actually 27 and live in the US fucking A!
Thou shalt not wear eyeliner, spikes, a mohawk, UK flags and ripped jeans unless your music is about puke, filth and sticking your Dr. Marten up someones ass!
Is it me or is New York becoming a Mormon town!? I sit home today with the beginnings of what I think will be a nasty cold and watch the local news. Some local politico is lobbying to get chocolate milk taken out of school lunches. He's not worried about those gray hamburgers with that layer of bubbly grease or that fucked up heat lamp freshened pizza. No. Getting rid of chocolate milk in the cafeteria is the solution to our children's woes. It's one in a series of events that makes me believe that eventually we will be told what and when to eat, drink, fuck and think! We are heading toward a terrible time of prohibitionist reform!
You remember prohibition don't you? Of course you do. They taught us about it in school. They also showed us that the prohibiton of liquor is what let organized crime flourish. Good work folks.
After that drugs were the big evil defilers of the American way, and coke, pot and opiates eventually became our menace. As we can all see the "war" on drugs was and is a losing proposition. There is no winning the war on drugs. All we do is postpone the inevitable legalization that will raise our GNP in a way we haven't seen since the Industrial Revolution!
More recently we had a smoking ban in NYC bars. Yes smoking is bad. I smoke and I hate myself for being a bitch to a finger long piece of rolled paper stuffed with a dried plant but it's my choice. The idea that it was to protect employees is ridiculous. If bartenders didn't want to inhale smoke they shouldn't work as bartenders just like if cops didn't want to get shot at they shouldn't be cops. The idea that the ban has INCREASED business is also asinine. If you have to go outside to smoke you aren't drinking! You are also more apt to go to the next bar. In the time you take to go from the first bar to the next - guess what - YOU ARE NOT DRINKING! Also it has created a quality of living issue for those who live near bars. I did a little experiment right after the ban with a few friends at the Knitting Factory. We wanted to see how much we drank (and this crew LOVES to drink) and other factors concerning our new situation. This is what we found.
1. We drank what we estimated to be 2-3 less cocktails than we normally would.
2. Every time one person went for a smoke another joined. As the night went on this went from 2 people smoking on the street to 3 people to 5 to 7. The litter started to pile up despite the ashtrays outside
3. Also every time we went out for a smoke we were a bit drunker and there was one or two more of us. The noise level started to skyrocket.