So it's not just about douche-nicks in 09 - it's about looking forward to 2010! Of course these are strictly limited to what makes the Rev. happy - feel free to add your own...
1. The World Cup: Last time I watched Soccer, I played hooky from work, got drunk mid-day and watched Greece take home the Euro Cup in 2004! I can only hope for a repeat performance from my country-men this year in the World Cup since they beat out the Ukraine to qualify for the World Cup this year! Viva Hellas!
2. Iron Man 2: Warning FAN BOY MOMENT ABOUT TO BEGIN! OK so what if they screwed up the Whiplash AND the Crimson Dynamo characters by fusing them into Mickey Rourke. What if they replaced Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle as the character Rhodey (hey Terrence - I guess it IS hard out there for a pimp). So they cast Scarlet Johansson as the Black Widow when Milla Jojovich is an OBVIOUS better choice - we get an appearance by WAR MACHINE - woo hoo!
3. the iSlate: You all know I'm no fan of the cult of Apple but if they actually put out a tablet PC that acts like an iPhone - I'll splurge next year. Come on Jobs, don't croak and prove me wrong about your cheesy ass, over-rated, over-priced computers posing as fashion accessories.
4. Mood Enhancing Cosmetics: My hand to God companies are looking to merge make-up with "neuro-transmitters" to enhance mood in 2010. Here's where I see this going - if you can merge make-up with chemicals that enhance mood logic would have it that you could also infuse make-up with narcotics that can be absorbed trans-dermaly! Can you say I buy my X at Sephora? I see a RAVE comeback!
4. Ripped Stockings: When I was in high-school I was always most attracted to the chicks with the catholic school dress in too much eyeliner and the torn Dead Boys t-shirt. She ALWAYS had ripped nylons or fishnets on because she was just bad-ass that way. Thanks to the recession ripped hose is back! Woo-hoo we love us the bad girls!
5. The end of the Auto-Tune - Thank you Jay-Z for killing this trend - I was so tired of hearing this damn effect. It was almost as bad as when Daft Punk put out Around the World with a vocoder effect and then you couldn't spit without hearing robotic voices! Doesn't anyone just want to fucking sing anymore? Shit they were starting to Auto Tune RAP! What is the point in that?
6.Finally Detroit and Japan are making more hybrids: Does the Rev. believe in global warming? Maybe - maybe not. Who's to say that the climate won't change any way. What I do believe is that because America is forced to suck Saudi dick for oil - way too many people on to many continents are dead. Many of these people just wanted to go to work that day or feed their goats when someone slammed a airplane or a smart bomb up their asses. So isn't time we REALLY started thinking about new ways to power our lawn-mowers?
7. The new season of True Blood: No I didn't run out to see the Twilight movies ok! Truth is True Blood is a predictable, derivative, camped up Vampire trash opera...and it rules! It's a mish-mosh of Anne Rice and that movie Near Dark with a shit load of socio-political shit mixed in to it to add that X-Men/Soap Opera element and finally some awesome soft-core porn. What's not to love!
8. YEAR OF THE 80's REMAKES - In 2010 we are looking at remakes of the following:
Yes these will undoubtedly suck moose balls through a puke-flavored poop straw but oh the material I will get out of it next year!
10. The Return of the Rev. full force: Yes I promise I will update my blog more often and this year I may EVEN start to proof read - maybe.