The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

DUH -nkin Donuts

Have you seen the new Dunkin Donuts commercial for their Lattes?  It features a group of befuddled customers at another store (presumably Starbucks) singing their lament, in a distinct catchy power pop manner.  They sing that their mouths can not form the titles of the coffee at this cafe.  They ask is it French or is it Italian - maybe it's Fritalian.  Then the announcer comes on to tell you that you can order your Latte in ENGLISH at DD.
I have a running joke about Starbucks with a co-worker.  Every time we go there she orders a Dopio (a double Espresso in Starbuckspeak) and I find endless ways to make fun of that - a ropeadope? a dopamine? a dopieopie?
So I can see the joke that DD's agency is trying to make but according to wikipedia.com a Latte is...

"In Italian latte ... is simply the word for milk.

What in English-speaking countries is now called a latte would be referred to in Italy as "caffe e latte" (commonly "caffellatte"), literally "coffee and milk", similar to the French "café au lait"..."

So in essence the word Latte is freakin Italian you dipshits!
It never ceases to amaze me how little research goes into a campaign when some idiot thinks he's clever.
A(got latte?)men

Wuss or Overgrown Teenager?

More reasons to hate my new phone.
FINALLY I got the thing to do what I bought if for, that is act as music player (no thanks to wonderful people at Verizon Wireless customer service) problem is now that I can't seem to toggle between phone and music player functions.  In fact once I'm playing a song it's actually hard to make the song stop. 
So here is how this made me look like an idiot twice today.
I'm on the L Train and run into a friend so I take off my head phones to say hi and acidentally unplugg them.  The phone has a speaker so now every person on the car knows I rock to Depeche Mode going to work.  My friend also pointed out that my new trendy phone is kind of a chic phone.  So I now look like a wuss.  A lot of fumbling later I get the thing to shut up.

First in a long list of LISTS!

People love lists.  It's a fact. They love lists and those ridiculously addictive MySpace surveys that I end up filling out every Sunday morning.  People also like the number TEN - so I put out lists of ten things that delight, horrify, confuse or just plain make you say "What the...?"
So here for your reading pleasure is the first list and this one is all about
LISTS! Clever no?

1. "The Book of Lists" - Does any one remember this thing?  It was one of those useless gifts you would get every XMas to remind you your relatives didn't care enough to actually take into account what you would really want that year from Santa.  I once got my brother an edition of this book printed on a role of toilet paper that he actually got quite some mileage from. 2- PLy no less!  Every time he left  the can he had some useless bit of information to share with us and a clean tushy as well.

2. Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List - Who is this douche?  Every year he cut his own check by telling us which anorexic Hollywood moron looked bad in Dolce and what poor sap couldn't pull off a different colored tux.  Like I said people like lists I just wish they would love fashion a little less.

3. The Darwin Awards - I've always loved this list of mendicants that remove their genes from the pool by the abject stupidity of their actions that result in their timely demise.  Here's to natural selection!

4. The Guinness Book of World Records - Unlike the book of lists, Guinness would publish a book that I really looked forward to every year.  I truly believe my fascination with the bizarre and disturbing began with this book.  I used to order it from the book clubs you could sign up with through your school.  I'd always forgo Clifford the Big Red Dog or Find Waldo for this paperback tome containing photos of that guy with the longest finger nails or that classic shot of that dude with the gazillion smokes in his mouth.

5. The Big Shit List - This is not what you'd think it is.  The Big Shit List is a list of different types of crap you can take like say the kind of shit that "...pokes your ass when it comes out because it is that damn sharp..." Comedian Adam Sandler tried one of these on his his own but it's not as funny.

I have arrived...

Hi Folks,
So I finally got my shit together with some help from the amazing and talented Judy McGuire and got a blog up.  I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this little piece of self-published self-indulgence.  Those of you familiar with my band, Girl to Gorilla might have been privy to "The New Douche Review" and the multiple lists I used to publish on the band's blog.  Mos def there will be more of that but also reposts of things I wished more people had read when I had them in print the first time around as well as some new rants and raves. 
I'm not expecting many readers so I guess this is more a promise to myself to write and read more as well as a place to archive my eclectic set of bizzaro-world interests and opinions.

The included photo is a shot of me the night I decided to piss off our neighbor by plugging in our Karaoke machine and singing Twisted Sister at the top of my lungs.  Fun night - sooo anyway, as they say in the biz - ON WITH THE SHOW!