The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

American Idol....

OK, so have you ever noticed that there never any amazingly OLD,UGLY or DEFORMED people that make it onto the next rounds of American Idol - I mean you get some over weight people but never just fucking deformed motherfuckers.  Don't get me wrong there are some ugly people on - of course the ones they show you can't sing.  I have a feeling there are some really ugly people who try out, with voices so pretty they can make angels cry but they never make it on camera! I suggest we find a total freak, I mean someone with a face so heinous that the moment they were born the Dr. slapped their mother.  Some toothless, hunchback bald person with boils or warts that dresses in rags.  If they were a bit slow or mentally disturbed that would help as well.  The thing is this person MUST have an AMAZING voice.  Someone who sings like the bastard child of Patti Labelle and Marvin Gaye.  We get this person to audition and secretly video tape it and see what happens. 
Whatayaallthink?  Any takers?

Why I love the homeless in NYC!

Nuff said! Click the photo if it's hard to read.

Why I hate New York Magazine

Does anyone remember when New York Magazine was actually kind of cool - when there where real trends spotted and political articles that didn't pander (as much) to a yuppie Upper East (and now West) Side Yuppie android reader. When every other issue wasn't about the hot new cafe or the "up and coming" new neighborhood?  It seems New York Magazine now doesn't know what it wants to be.  Is it the The New York Times magazine or Time Out?
Well I still read this rag and occasionally I catch something slightly amusing tid bits but this week they put out a piece by some twinky named Gogo Lidz about her adventures in prescribed and illegal drug use - oooooooooooo - cutting edge!
There are no accounts of blowing dealers for a hit or boosting car radios to afford a fix so WHO THE FUCK CARES!? She gets shipped around to college campuses and retreats in beautiful mountain locales and finally gets back to college and continues to take 'scripts and her poor fucking parents pay for it all - la di fucking DA!
I love this nugget though, "...I stayed on  the Adderall, but I stopped taking recreational drugs: Downers only brought me down."
What a douche!
Where's the OD in the nasty 42nd St. hotel?  Where's the anal sex with nasty old men for crack? Where's the driving the stolen car into the river?I
Finally EVERY rag in NYC with the initials N, Y and C in it's title forgets this one thing - MANHATTAN IS THE SMALLEST FUCKING BOROUGH IN NYC!
Brooklyn is getting SLIGHT coverage but the other three boroughs get no magazine play at all.  You know why?  Because as usual these magazine pander to rich transplants! New Yorkers need to take back New York media!  Demand coverage - there is news all over worthy of glossy coverage - the sad part is most of the assholes that work and write for these books AREN'T FROM NY EITHER!
Arrrrrrggghh!

Why I hate Celebrity Culture

OK I am NOT a Britney Spears fan.  Of all those skanks Christina Aguilara is the only one I don't despise, but the crap the NY POST and other sleazy tabloids are printing about her is what is keeping little girls in the bathroom, puking up their meals in abject horror of gaining a 1/4 inch on the waist line.  The picture here is Britney with a few pounds on.  She is by no means fat in the real world the rest of us live in.  Come to think of it, she's pushed out two rug rats, just got divorced and her label might be dropping her.  It's a wonder she hasn't fallen face first into a  vat of bon-bons, whiskey and Kleenex!  And they get these fucking "expert" psychologists to say things like "...it's troubling how much the mother of two has let herself go."  Listen up douche, when we - that being the normal, non-scrutinized public - have break-ups, lose jobs or experience the pressures of parenthood, we sometimes have a few extra drinks.  We eat more.  We smoke more if smokers we be.  We have crutches because we are imperfect.  It's this kind of reporting that has created a music industry full of no-talent, mass produced twinks and pop-tarts that need to look pretty (pretty being THIN!) before they sound good.  Holy shit even what they are trying to pass off as punk rock looks like some producers version of a punk band he put together for an After School Special!  Arrrrgh -
OK New commandments on the ol' Rev's tablets-
Thou shalt not read PAGE 6 - No matter HOW BORED YOU ARE.
Thou shalt eat a burger if you have the ass of an 11 year old Ethiopian girl and you are actually 27 and live in the US fucking A!
Thou shalt not wear eyeliner, spikes, a mohawk, UK flags and ripped jeans unless your music is about puke, filth and sticking your Dr. Marten up someones ass!
A-FUCKING-MEN!!!!