The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

Girl to Gorilla ROCK!

So the Rev.'s band (Girl to Gorilla) had a spectacular night at Arlene's Grocery.  Great crowd and for once, the Rev (the most self-critical member of G2G) was a happy camper after the show.  We sounded good even if we DID ham it up some as our singer's  paramour, the wonderful Jessica, was videotaping us.  I can't wait to see that.  Video-taping yourself is fun because when you watch it's all like - holy shit I make that same stupid guitar face on that same chorus every-time! Ugh!
The guy before us was an acoustic act.  Not just an acoustic act but an act that played 80's covers.  He did a cover of Su-Sudeo by Phil Collins that almost lost us the few early arrivers we had there.  It's not that he was bad - just the choice of songs he decided on was questionable and not in the ironic hipster fashion.
Also just a comment on the band after us.  First of all they sounded like one of those bands that should be playing behind a commercial for the OC.  Blaaaaaaannnnnd. Second of all, the wannabe twink singer talked ALL KINDS OF SHIT about us while we were on stage, right next to a cluster of our friends who of course overheard and then told us.  Hey, the Rev has been known to drop a snarky remark or two at times (check the G2G blog on our MySpace page) about a band on our bill but then this fop comes up to me afterward, makes a point to shake my hand and then say "duuuude, awesome set!"  What a dick! Anyway - the honorable Judy McGuire who is always supportive and came to the show thinks I'm over reacting to this.  To quote she said, "Why does being in a band make [the Rev.] act like a 15 year old?"  My answer - that's why I do it, because it's actually good to feel like a 15 year old sometimes. Long Live Rock!
A(Girl to Gorilla fuckin' rocks!)Men

Cheese smells like feet!

Anthony Bourdain would kick my ass!  The Rev. and his girl where at Artisinal (a restaurant that specializes in fine cheese) last night at the behest of her Dad to celebrate her belated birthday.  I've always wanted to try Artisinal and am quite a fan of the milk curd so woo-hoo right?
Nope! 
Now I love cheese - the stinkier the better but the smell of hundreds of pounds of cheese makes me a little ill.  Well this smelled like 1000's of pounds of cheese.  Since the Rev. didn't want to ruin the evening or look like a wuss and/or ingrate to my girl's family I sucked it up but it seemed like the smell got worse and worse and worse.  I am SO embarrassed by this because as I said I LOVE CHEESE but by the time the fondue (that was awesome I stress) came out I could only keep thinking - smells like nasty feet.
The dinner conversation we were having started sounding like this:
"Please could you pass the  feet?"
"Sure how is your feet?  Looks good."
"Have read about feet in the news.  I feet that feet feet."
"Really?  Feet feet feet feet - feet feet."

The food really was amazing but I guess the Rev. is a big pussy. Also, at first the idea of seeing Artisinal's vault (they call it the cheese cave) seemed novel - by the end of the meal the thought seemed disgusting.
I really hope this doesn't put anyone off the experience because I have sensitive nostrils but Holy Jabroni - I thought I was gonna lose my feet. 
A(feeeeeeeet)Men

10 things to think about...hmmm...

1. Watching Rikki Lake giving birth in a bathtub is almost as bad as thinking about Rosie and Donald fucking!
2. Batboy of Weekly World news fame, spotted on NYC Subway - THE VIDEO!
3. Drunk driver blames driving drunk on the grief he felt 5 years ago when his best friend was killed by a drunk driver - WTF?
4. YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH A BICYCLE! John Sweezy's - Shock and Awe. 
5. Pet Vibrators - vibrators FOR YOU PET
6. The return of NAIR  - who wears short shorts?
7. The return of SMELLOVISION - Hi - They call me Earl - pull my finger - now scratch - OK sniff  eeewwwwww.
8. Return of the living Corey's! - If you can call that living

9.  Audi finds a way to shut up Chinese back seat drivers.

10  and in the most fucked up item this week, a woman in Toronto bought a brown couch that had a Chinese "mis"translation on the label.  The color of the couch read "nigger brown."  After watching that German officer training his troops by telling marksmen they should picture shooting black people in the Bronx, I'm getting a little xenophobic. 

"Stupid fucking white [wo]man..."

Ever see the movies Dead Man or Ghost Dog by Jim Jarmusch? There's a Native American character played by the actor pictured (that's American Indian or Injun for you non-pc types) that uses the quote, "...stupid fucking white man...," in each movie when stupid white men do stupid white man shit. 

Both movies are great - do the Netflix.
That's not my point here. Stupid fucking white people are.

This morning I went to the Driggs Ave. entrance on the L Train in Brooklyn to get to work.  When I walked down the stairs there was a girl ahead of me that I noticed was shaky on her heels.  I couldn't really understand what her deal was but I noticed that and she was dressed like she had an interview or a blowjo..., um, I mean a promotion to fight for in her immediate future .  VERY high heels and a suit/short-skirt number on, on a day that was way too hot for a jacket.  She was carrying a clipboard.  I hate clipboards.

We both got to the Metro-card dispenser, her before me, and there was a large Hasidic gentleman trying to help what was either a small Mexican or Ecuadorian woman, who was very clearly scared and confused, use the MTA's touch-screen interface to get her fare.  She spoke no English and he was in a rush so, though it actually looked like he had tried to help, he politely dumped her on us to assist.

Spyro MANIA!

The Rev is WORLD RENOWN in some small town! Thanks to Paulie at Aperture for the pic.

The Rev's TV debut!!!

Today the Rev. played an imaginary gay boyfriend in a sitcom pilot, frolicking on the beach in Coney during a dream sequence.  The producer of the show is a very cool Scottish cat and the crew were fun as well.
Aside from a few moments of direction that sounded like this,
"Mooorrr ghay - s'noot ghay nuff...",  and the fact that it was colder than a witch's tit today - I was naked, save for turquoise hot pants, a leather daddy mustache and a marine cap - I had a ball.
Video to come.
A(moooooooorrrr ghay - ya coont!!!!!)men.

Grandma NOOOOOOO!

Holy shit -  I think I just went blind! Whatever you do - don't click on the photo if you just ate or are about to have sex!

Why Jimmy Kimmel Rules and Gawker Sucks Donkeys