The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

Yes we are all individuals!

This is a shot of the 4 yuppies who sat across from our table at BBar tonight.  My  coworkers and I were trying to have a calming business meet about some serious shit and were distracted by the douches next door. They were all loud, stupid, obnoxious and wearing the same hue blue button down shirt.  What the fuck is up with THAT COLOR BLUE SHIRT! This fucking stupid ass uniform yuppies seem to flock to! What, was there a sale at SEARS?  These 4 douches not only showed NO sense of style or individuality BUT they then lit up 4 cigars! As these douches are smoking their cheap smelling, so not Cuban dog turds in our face (and remember we are all ciggy smokers at this table) they high 5 each other on some deal they just cut.  I really have no point to this post other than this - BE ORIGINAL AND DON'T A DOUCHE! Dress to impress, not to eat corporate choad!

A(FUCK THE MAN!)Men

Enjoy...

Talk about taking one for the team - how about 40,000?

This wonderful woman will be coming to a town near you to give you one of 40,000 blowjobs she is dolling out for free to raise awareness about some political party in Belgium.  And I thought all they had to offer was chocolate!

A(40,000 lucky)men!

When wrestling was fucking stupid and fun!

Check out this old clip of  wrestlers Mil Mascaras and Superstar Billy Graham talking up the trash before a match.  And look at the young Vince McMahon! This stuff was fun when it was stupider and less polished than it is now.

Mary Jane Wat the fuck??

So there is all this shit about the new Mary Jane Watson Parker statue (Spider Man's hotty wife for you non-geeks)  Marvel comics released because it is SEXIST?  Do any of these people read comics? Every female character in every comic has giant garbanzo boobs, huge doe eyes and blow-job lips.  Super-heroines, villainesses AND damsels in distress alike!  They are thought up by nebbishy comic artists and writers that still live with their mothers.  God bless em! I love me my Marvel Comics girls!  So let's get this straight - the geeks on the bulletin boards have a problem that she's bending over, doing Spidey's laundry, barefoot, in a visible thong with some cleavage peeking out as well?  Here's what I have to say about it:
1. Spidey saves the world every day - he deserves a pass on laundry day once in a while.  Also, actually it looks like she's folding, not doing the laundry.  Who's to say her and Mr. Parker aren't splitting the housework?
2. Again Spidey saves the world every day - he deserves a girlfriend that looks like a stripper - fuck  he deserves a girlfriend who looks like a stripper, who has hot bi-sexual stripper swinger girlfriends who all get hot about kinky sex orgies with him.   Someone's gotta relieve the stress of fighting the Rhino, The Lizard, Venom, Carnage, Doc Oc, Electro, Mysterio, The Chameleon, The Shocker, Morbius, the multiple Green Goblins and the Kingpin!
3. She's a fucking fictional character - holy shit people get a fucking grip!

A(Excelsior)Men!

Another top 10 -------

1. Creative uses for super-glue - Some thugs in South Africa robbed this dude and glued his lips together with super glue and then glued his ass naked to an exercise bike - you KNOW that left a mark!
2. Borat beats Busch! - Sasha Baron Cohen even made TIME's 100 most influential people in lieu of the Prez.  Talk about feeling inadequate!
3. The Rev. Al all up on niggas, ho's and beyotches! - Al what are you doing protesting the hip hop community?! They got all the bling my brother!  Take away their three favorite words and white people will start listening to heavy metal again.  Record sales will plummet and then where will you be come X-Mas time when Russel, Jay, Diddy and Damon's big donations don't come in the mail?
4.  Skull Soup - 4 human skulls, one in a pot of boiling water, were discovered in a Chicago apt.  Skulls are coooooooool. No murder connected - turns out you can import human skulls from China.
5. VERY Happy meal - a 7 year old finds a condom in a McDonald's Happy Meal in New Zealand - and I thought it was weird that the French ate their fries with mayo.
6. Walmart and Target SELL HENTAI - Woohoo! Now all you CosPlay fetish freaks can get your smut at the local strip mall!
7.  THE NYPRess  shows BOOBIES  - Yes it's a story about mammograms but so what BOOBIES!
8. Finally Cute Overload gets some competition! - Thingsthatmakeyougoaahh.com
9. Penis Envy?- Dude gets penile implant - doesn't like it - mails his surgeon a bomb!
10. And the worst father of the year award goes to drumrolllllll please! brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap! burp. belch. blearrgh!