The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

Douche douche dodo doooouuuche!

Official Announcement:  The Rev.will begin posting the all new list of refreshing Mencshes  (the Anti Douche review per say) very very soon.   This is just so folks  don't keep  thinking I'm just a rotten old  curmudgeon - but for today- Roll  out the douches...

1.  Smart Mom - Why is smart mom smart?  Is she insinuating that all the other moms is stupid.  Reminds me o' that caveman in that Geico commercial talking to his shrink.  Listen up you boujie Park Slope yuppie ho with too much time on yo pansy ass hands - you EVER even insinuates somethin' like that 'bout the Rev.'s moms , well she'll  beat you to an inch of your bad haircut life with a copy of the collected works of Homer  ya beyotch.  PS your writing sucks buffalo biscuits - so does mine but you actually think youz iz shmart.
2.   The Queen of Mean (R.I.P.) - Ah Leona, you won't be missed by anyone but the media cannibals at the NY Post.  You treated people like shit, you stole from Uncle Sam (Why does it seems it's always rich people up on tax evasion shit) and in the 70's even your own husband tried to stab you in the face and you all covered it up with some cockamamie story and when you kicked off you even managed to fuck over your grandchildren by giving your fortune to a dog. TO YOUR FUCKING DOG!!! When you get to hell there will be a beautiful SRO with your name on it, where you'll share a bathroom with Karl Rove (don't worry he'll be there soon)  and Saddam Hussein.
3. Michael Fucking Vick - Dude you're a fucking millionaire - it's not like you're a crack-head in East New York that found a stray and used the dog in a last ditch attempt to win a few bucks and get out of a hole (though that isn't acceptable either) You're a fucking millionaire so it seems to me that equals that  you're an evil demonic fucking donkey sucking sadist!
4. Weather Fear Mongers! - Ever notice right about this time of year how our local weather people go Coo coo for Cocoa Puffs over hurricanes and such.  It's also when you start seeing the "What if a Tidal Wave Hit New York"  type TV shows on the Discovery Networks.  As if we don't have enough man made lunacy to worry about, our local meteorologists must fuck with our noodles even further with Tsunami warnings in Arizona.
5.  And my newest most favorite of all assoholic-doucherific-supercali-fuckyesrelf-anddexyala-do-me is...The MySpace douchebag that starved herself to get American Idol's Sanjaya off the show- yes it's old news but it deserves to be looked at again! And yes Sanjaya was also a douche but he became a mega superstar douche because of little douches like this woman who paid attention even if she did hate his guts - she made him GOOGLE FODDER!!!!!!

That's it for today kiddies - see ya'll next week.
And eat your broccoli or you'll go to hell
AMen!

Corn Mo' da MAn

This is fucking awesome - Acordian crooner Corn Mo doing a cover of Hocus Pocus by Focus! This brings me back to smoking weed on the stairs of my school with the bad kids.

A(yodidodeyodidodeyodidodeyodidodeyodidodeyodidodeyodidode a A AHHH!)Men

Cookie Puss - R.I.P.

The very first Carvel Ice Cream store has closed.  Now don't worry to much there's still locations in New York.  I grew up near the Carvel on 3rd Ave. in Bay Ridge.
Now as far as ice cream goes there is nothing all that spectacular about Carvel, but there are some very unique things about the big C that will remain with me forever.
1. Founder Tom Carvel's TV commercials - He often laughed during the voice over and would make little snarky remarks in between - by his later years his voice started to sound like  he had gargled 5 pounds of razor blades for breakfast.

2. The all purpose Cookie Puss mold and friends - Cookie Puss for the non-educated, was a galactic ice cream being Carvel created for our eating enjoyment.  Yes you to can eat an alien with a sugar cone for a nose thanks to Carvel - but wait that's not all.  There's his Irish cousin Cookie O' Puss, Fudgy the Whale (same mold on it's side) and the Santa Claus cake (same mold different face) and though they aren't Cookie Puss shaped please don't discount Hug Me the Bear and Nutty the Ghost.

3. Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel! - Way back when you and your bud could get two Sundaes for the price of one every Wednesday at Carvel! So me and my grade school buddies got twice the sugar crash for the money!

Eventually I assume Carvel will go the way of the Dodo or be bought out by Cold Stone or Baskin Robbins but for now the (nutty) ghost of Tom Carvel still haunts our sweet tooth.

A (Tom Carvel July 14th 1906 - October 21st 1990  R.I.P)Men