As every decade slips into obscurity and the pop-culture vultures
recycle it's arts, fashion and entertainment trends to create a retro
statement we get reminded of a few things that should have been left in
the graveyard yet just won't die - here are 10 from the 90's
1. Tattoos - ok ok you may all know the Rev sports some ink and will probably get more but comoooon people - girls are still getting tramp stamps and men are still getting tribal armbands! WTF? Please make it stop. It's so damn gay!!!! In the South Park way as in "that was totally gay", not in the Chelsea way.
2. Since we are talking tattoos of course we can't forget nipple rings, eyebrow rings, and big old, over sized, Goodyear tire looking ear piercing. Man until you can put some spinning rims on them hoops I really think it's time to put this nouveau hippie shit to rest already.
3. Reality TV - Oh did you all forget this insult to our humanity started in the 90's and has continued to haunt our sets since? Next week the Real World- Kabul!
4. Cocaine - no Heroine wait, no E! - Yep all these drugs became popular in the 90's. Dope in the early part amongst disenfranchised over-privileged arty white people, E by the RAVE squad and coke by the late decade, just lost their jobs dot-commers. Now they are ALL back - stumbling junkies on the nod who won't shut up and love everyone.
5. War in the Middle East - Didn't work under Busch I and isn't working under Busch II.
6. Over-styled facial hair - Yes I'm talking to you Mr.properly trimmed non-gay(in the Chelsea way) sporter of a handlebar mustache - you aren't Terry Richardson - oh and braiding your goatee - that has got to go! Oh oh and like super-sharp glamor/greaser trimmed pointy side-burns. I say NO MORE!
7. Aviator Sunglasses - speaking of Terry Richardson - this look is way played out - please make these shades go the way of the dodo by not wearing them. They are actually a triple throw back from the 70's and before that from the General MacArthur era! MacArthur was a fruit-loop so remember he first popularized this eye wear.
8. Speaking of Terry Richardson - TERRY RICHARDSON! OK Terry we get it. Your penis is very large and you get laid a lot.
9. Speaking of Terry Richardson - DOV CHARNEY - I believe they are one in the same. Either way please stop opening American Apparel stores. We don't need that many pairs of pink, terry cloth hot pants.
10. And last but not least - The Fucking Internet!!!!! - But Rev. You're on the Internet - ya ya I know but think about what a need-it-now, electronically obsessed, A.D.D. culture we've become. Yes you - me - the first fucking thing I do is turn on my computer every morning and check email and often this makes me late for work. The sad part is I'm checking work email! We've become e-tarded.
Well there you go folks - you asked for 10 you got 10. Honorable mentions go to fancy gourmet coffees, X-Treme Sports, flannel shirts tied around your cargo shorts, dumpster punks and white people with dread-locks.
A(Generation X my ass)Men
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