The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium:

You ever hear the story of Jesus and the money changers. I don't by any means feel Jesus was a prophet or the son of some imaginary man in the sky. I do think, like Buddha, Allah and Moses he made some good points - he wasn't flawless but he was on point some of the time. Maybe the shuffling of money without any REAL FUCKING INDUSTRY BEHIND IS FUCKING STUPID he said one day and did something about it.

Well - here we are again - a nation of money changers. Yeah I know there will be the one asshole that screams I'm being anti-Semitic in this article - here let me make you feel better with a little Hebrew proverb I love:

“Eat vegetables and fear no creditors, rather than eat duck and hide”

I think THAT's where Jesus (a Jew) was going with his point on the Money Changers.

I heard this asshole on NPR this morning who wrote this article titled the The Wall Street of 1% in New York Magazine - he was getting me so irate I had to read the article - this guy actually sympathizes with Wall Street brokers and the rich being taxed harder - his analogy had something to do with comparing them with brain surgeons, baseball players and actresses. The medical community are some other assholes we will take on in a future post but right now here's the deal - A-Rod making a bucket of money or Julia Roberts or Elton John doesn't bother me because if I don't like what they are doing I don't buy tickets to see them, their t-shirts, CD's or DVDs and their money goes away. They offer me something tangible I trade my currency for - entertainment.

Wall Street on the other hand - when they fuck up we don't know it when it happens and it then has a real impact on my friend who's wife is expecting, who loses his job and benefits, then my dad loses his 401K value and pension then my brother loses his entire business because all the companies he sold to can't get the credit to buy his goods. I am owed commissions from a job for months right now I don't even work at anymore because the companies that bought my employers product aren't doing so well - AND THESE ARE HUGE COMPANIES I ASSURE YOU!

So in this asshole's article he talks about how Wallstreeters feel weird in a nice suit on the subway. Really?No REALLY? On NPR he implied bankers and brokers worked HARDER than the rest of us. Wow - I didn't' know private-jetting to Switzerland for hookers, black market caviar and coke with the CEO of some hedge fun was THAT taxing. Cleaning a toilet seems like a cinch compared to that!

I guess the point I'm making is that Jesus (as a person, not a prophet) saw something wrong in the business of changing money for interest etc. He saw there was a problem when financial institutions used their leverage to make money off of regular folks for basically doing NOTHING but shuffling it around and keeping a papyrus with some records on it as to who owed what goat to who.

We were owned by these shit-bubbles in finance and they sold us down the river. They lied. They stole. They cheated. Think about that next time you whip out the credit card. Think about that when you look at your now worthless stock portfolio. Think about that when you can't afford a life or death operation because your benefits were yanked. I just joined the NRA - am I a gun freak? - no - but THEY OFFER AFFORDABLE HEALTH INSURANCE! Ain't that shit a trip! Not only has the shit-hole Wall Street put the economy into put me out of a job - it's made me support a legislation that would make it easier for my mad as hell fucking ass to buy a fucking gun!

That Fanny May guy that took his own life? - I have no sympathy for him. His family? - well I'm sad for you but welcome to the real world. I hope you don't mind cleaning toilets.

Oh and Gabriel Sherman - author of that rat fink story - go fuck yourself - you smell of sniveling over-privilege. You sound like a rich kid that was too stuck-up to go INTO finance so you write about it.

Gabriel's other work include stories about Prep School's (someone is obviously a Gossip Girl fan) and more whining of the previously rich. DOOOOUUUUCCCHHHEEEBAAAAAGGGG!
A(FuckWallStreet)Men.