The Rev. Spyros' Snake Oil Emporium

How far can the douchiness go????

Tonight

I just wanted sashimi.

And  @ the table next to me?

The double date.

One of the she-beasts wanted to tell her date that at the office party she made lemon squares.

She made lemon squares just for him - her date.

Didn't he know those lemon squares were just for him?

DIDN'T ANY ONE UNDERSTAND THOSE LEMON SQUARES WERE FOR HIM?

JUST

FOR

HIM!

THOSE LEMON SQUARES WERE JUST FOR HIM!

and

HE DIDN'T EAT ANY OF THEM!

NOT

ONE

LEMON

SQUARE!

This last sentence was delivered in ultrasonic/uber-decibels and I told her (having had enough) BITCH, BEAGLES IN PORTLAND KNOW THAT THIS DOUCHE DIDN'T EAT YOUR LEMON SQUARES - GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

I may have over reacted.

OK OK I take it back!!!

I talked a LOT of shit about Adam Richman from Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel.  If you don't know the show, basically he goes to eateries around the country that have ridiculous food items on the menu they challenge their customers to eat (giant omelets, pizzas, burritos and steaks etc.). So it's a show around competitive eating and - well we all I know - the Rev. can eat some - The Rev can eat some indeed.  So I was talking all this shit about how I could make the host of this show my bitch - how if he took me on I'd make him go Vegan.

Well I take it all back - I just saw this guy demolish 7 pounds of of seriously greasy hamburger and a big ol' tray of steak fries pictured below. He didn't even finish the whole thing that weighed in at 12 pounds but I couldn't even watch. While I watched I truly was starting to get queasy. I don't know what to say - between the cholesterol, triglycerides and high blood pressure I must be getting soft.