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Nom nom nom nom nom nom...........

XXL Haiti Benefit at Webster Hall 2NITE!

Remember tonight -

The XXL Benefit for Haiti at Webster Hall! Jim Jones, Juelz Santana, Styles P, DJ Kay Slay, Mike Epps!  If you don't come everyone will think you don't love Haiti!  Don't be hatin'! 

Ticket available here! http://websterhall.com/events/show_event_sub.php?id=881&size=small&cdate=2010-02-09

Think it's time for another 10 things? The Rev do...

Time for another 10 moments of awesome chaos and trivial gobbledeegookiness.

1. The below disciplinary report is what happens when your kids OD on World of Warcraft. Seal of Command indeed young Kai!

 

2. Yes I know I said I wanted to see the Auto-Tuner go away but look! KITTIES! 

3.And now introducing the RZA burger! Who knew the Wu could be this gastronomically ingenious

 

4. This little guy!

 

5. Brussels fire-fighters are foaming at the mouth!

 

6. I found this website of really stupid gamey thingies - note NOT safe for the office and they need audio.

7. FAILBLOG.ORG - MY NEWEST MOST FAVORITE OF BLOGS! 

 

8. Who knew there were so many bacon themed products available?

 

9. The horror of the TODDLERPEDE!

 

10. And finally In B FLAT!  OK yes it's affected and arty but it's fun as hell as well! 

 

Jim Jones - Juelz Santana and XXL Haiti Benefit for the Red Cross

At WEBSTER HALL Feb 9th!  - Tickets available here!

How far can the douchiness go????

Tonight

I just wanted sashimi.

And  @ the table next to me?

The double date.

One of the she-beasts wanted to tell her date that at the office party she made lemon squares.

She made lemon squares just for him - her date.

Didn't he know those lemon squares were just for him?

DIDN'T ANY ONE UNDERSTAND THOSE LEMON SQUARES WERE FOR HIM?

JUST

FOR

HIM!

THOSE LEMON SQUARES WERE JUST FOR HIM!

and

HE DIDN'T EAT ANY OF THEM!

NOT

ONE

LEMON

SQUARE!

This last sentence was delivered in ultrasonic/uber-decibels and I told her (having had enough) BITCH, BEAGLES IN PORTLAND KNOW THAT THIS DOUCHE DIDN'T EAT YOUR LEMON SQUARES - GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

I may have over reacted.

Why am I always with painted bitches?

Here I am at the Ron English opening in SoHo a few weeks back.

 

Here I am at The "Digital Experience" before the Consumer Electronics Show  in Vegas. Pattern?

 
 Note - it must be the Army jacket.

OK OK I take it back!!!

I talked a LOT of shit about Adam Richman from Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel.  If you don't know the show, basically he goes to eateries around the country that have ridiculous food items on the menu they challenge their customers to eat (giant omelets, pizzas, burritos and steaks etc.). So it's a show around competitive eating and - well we all I know - the Rev. can eat some - The Rev can eat some indeed.  So I was talking all this shit about how I could make the host of this show my bitch - how if he took me on I'd make him go Vegan.

Well I take it all back - I just saw this guy demolish 7 pounds of of seriously greasy hamburger and a big ol' tray of steak fries pictured below. He didn't even finish the whole thing that weighed in at 12 pounds but I couldn't even watch. While I watched I truly was starting to get queasy. I don't know what to say - between the cholesterol, triglycerides and high blood pressure I must be getting soft.

Dear Anti-Vacination Nation

Just recently I found out another Hollywood celeb (Jenny McCarthy) was an advocate of anti-vaccination and thinks some vaccines cause Autism.

Here's what I find horrible about these people...

• Since it's advent Botox has been linked to 16 deaths
• At least 20 people per 100,000 patients sucked dirt after liposuction between 94 and 98
• In 2008 an 18 year old, Florida girl died on the table due to incompetence during a breast augmentation
• It is PROVEN that tanning salons cause cancer

That's the legal shit - now let's talk 'roids, illegal uppers, downers and Vitamin B 12 injections and you have a whole slew of bull-shit Hollywood turns the other way about. So certain people choose to find that VACCINES (that I admit in the rare case may be harmful - but I stress it is rare) that have saved millions upon millions of lives - THAT's where the medical community needs to scrutinize our priorities and intent?  Again I stress it is shit like this that makes the rest of the world hate and despise Americans.

 

MY NEW FAVORITE SHOW!

STYL'D! Fucking Styl'd on MTV! This is SOOOOO scripted it hurts!  It also highlights every annoying stereotypical character defect of every horrible douche that I've ever met from Los Angeles. That self-centered, overtly melo-dramatic actor thing you get from certain Los Angelinos and the best part is these people are falling apart over getting a job as a stylist. A STYLIST! A stylist is to the fashion world what a roadie is to the music world. Fun job but you are a step above the caterer. 

Next week on MTV - WASH'd!

Seven young people have a dream! That dream is to be...

Wolfgang Puck's...

EXECUTIVE .............................................................

DISHWASHER!!!

Who will sparkle and who will get scrubbed???

I keep telling myself that this will be it. People will have finally had enough! NOPE! The worse it gets the more we want! We are all so going to hell! 

the 2009 Death Toll

So who all did we lose in 2oo9 other than Michael Jackson.

1. Patrick Swayze - Nobody puts baby in a corner but somebody put Patrick in a box.
2. DJ AM - OK I truly think having a reality TV show where you try to save the addicted when you yourself were a rabid dope fiend is a mistake but hey what do I know?
3. Ted Kennedy - Official cause of death - brain cancer - unofficial cause of death - he's a Kennedy so he's doomed to suffer and die.
4. Les Paul - R.I.P. the TRUE father of modern Rock and Roll.
5. Don Hewitt - Created 60 Minutes. You'd think they would feature him on his own show right?
6. Walter Cronkite - Man how Dick Clark outlasted Walter Cronkite I can't understand.
7. John Hughes - Don't you - forget about him. Thanks for a decade of teenage suburban geek angst pal.
8. The Taco Bell dog - Yo Quiero CPR!
9. Oscar Mayer - My bologna has a first name it's D-E-A-D dead.
10. Karl Malden - Hey Karl it don't matter if you didn't leave home without it it cause you can't take it with ya man.
11. Jett Travolta - Open this case up please?  This kid did NOT deserve to die and I'm sure if his freaky Scientoligist parents admitted there was a problem he may still be breathing.
12. Natasha Richardson - Nice lady - very sad and skiing is a stupid way to die. She deserved better.
13. Marylin Chambers - sweet sweet Marilyn Chambers. We will always picture you behind the Green Door.
14. Bea Arthur - Thank you for making the Golden Girls the Sex In The City for the geriatric set.
15. Dom DeLuise - Funny man but I'm surprised he lasted this long without laughing himself into a cardiac arrest. He was a MOOSE!
16. Wayman Tisdale - Cancer is an evil evil disease. Wayman died of KNEE cancer - yes he was killed due to a disease of the KNEE!
17. Koko Taylor - Queen of the blues! Maybe now you and Les Paul can jam.
18. David Carradine -Questionable circumstances, but after David's career had "choked" at least he made a "come" back. Yes terrible but unavoidable puns. I can't help myself.
19. Farrah Fawcett - I still have that poster as a desktop on my PC and will always remember her like she was in the 70's.  That women launched a million wet dreams!
20. BILLY MAYS - YES THAT'S RIGHT! BILLY MAYS IS DEAD FOR ONLY 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.99!
21. Ed Mcmahon - It was only a matter of time but I wonder if Johnny Carson had to give him permission from beyond the grave to join him - I picture Mr. Carson beckoning Ed into the abyss. EEEEED - Yoouuu maaayyy haaaaveee aaaalllrreeeadddyyy wooooooooon!
22. Ricardo Montalban - I hear his coffin was lined in "fine Corinthian leather."
23. Wayne Allwine - The VOICE OF MICKEY MOUSE IS DEAD! Lord what will we do - oh yeah HELIUM!
24. Mary Travers - as in Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary - If I had a hammer - I had hammer down your coffin.
25. Brittany Murphy - We liked Britt but COME ON - the reason there were drugs all over her apartment was because SHE WAS ON DRUGS! Do you need toxicology tests to tell you that?
26. Oral Roberts - One asshole, pro-life, homophobic, swindling, religious leader  down - a few million worldwide to go
27. Eddie Fatu/Umaga - Pro-wrestler dies of a heart attack at 36. I'm sure no steroids were involved..

Anybody I missed?